


7 Springs

by erubescentdusk



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 06:57:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18441389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erubescentdusk/pseuds/erubescentdusk
Summary: Through the springs, they love, hate, and find each other again until they know the meaning of love.





	1. Spring, 2013

_When I see your smile that has the sky in it_  
_I get happy for no reason, moment by moment_  
_Because of you, this world looks different_

_Seo In Guk - Flower_

 

* * *

 

 

_Spring, 2013_

 

The day's so windy. The breeze sounds less quiet as the leaves keep shatter one another beneath the blue sky. Chanyeol opens his eyes. He is at his lodge, laying down on the bed, surrounded by the smell of fireplace, mahogany, and sex. The light is yellow and dull, perfectly serene with the soothing sound of Friday. As Chanyeol darts his gaze down, he finds Baekhyun in his embrace, hands wrapped tightly around the smaller's bare waist. Both are naked, enveloped warmly under the white sheet.

Humming along with the song from the radio, Baekhyun mumbles, raspy. "I like this song."

Chanyeol nods. "Me too."

Leaning closer towards the giant, still locking his arms around Chanyeol's neck, Baekhyun giggles. "You lied. You don't even know the title."

"Uhm, no, I don't." Chanyeol caresses Baekhyun's skin gently, and then added. "I just like everything about you. Everything that you like, everything that makes you happy, everything that makes you smile--those are all also my favorites."

"That's so lame." Baekhyun giggles again, still sounded so weak over Chanyeol's endless thrusts and his lustful moaning which left them all pleasant from this morning sex. He's quiet for a while, then mutters slowly under his breaths. "Yeol...I think I really love you."

Chanyeol is quite taken aback by the sudden confession, but then, he genuinely smiles. "I love you too, Baek." He then kisses his lips, so soft. His hand grasps Baekhyun's jaw, staring into those crescent eyes, relishing his beauty in a matter of seconds; hooded eyes, fluffy hair, little nose, pouty lips--which is the one that he adores the most. Really, they taste so sweet.

Baekhyun rests his head on the crook of Chanyeol's neck, wandering his fingers on the giant's chest. For a moment, they stay silent, saturating their breaths with the ticks of clock and the subdued noises from the radio--just letting the happiness taking over the proximity in between.

A moment passed, and then Baekhyun's faint whisper passes through his parted lips, still half strained over his desperate _deeper-faster_ earlier. "Yeol...thank you for these past four years. You know, I'm really happy to be with you."

Chanyeol nods, hugging the smaller even tighter if that is even possible. He looks over at his lover who's staring at him with a tiny smile on his lips, and Chanyeol simply realizes, in a million times already, he falls in love again. 

At the sight, Chanyeol can't help himself but sweeping over the smaller's face, touching every edge of his features, admiring Baekhyun's perfection through his eyes. For all honesty, he looks dazzling like a sunset and Chanyeol just can't take his eyes off of him. "How can you be this pretty?" He asks.

"How can you just realize that now?"

"Because before, you were ugly?"

"Ya!"

Laughing, Chanyeol pulls the brunette on top of him, hugging his waist so tight, like he really doesn't want to let him go. He really doesn't want the day to end, he just wants everything to stop, leaving him, Baekhyun and spring to stay like this forever, as if all the other things don't matter at all.

In a sudden silence that falls between them, Chanyeol presses his lips deeper against the smaller's, then whispers. "I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love-"

He is stopped once Baekhyun bites his lips gently which makes the two breaks down in a big laughter. "Stop it, Idiot."

Baekhyun then moves back some inches, lingering his gaze on the lover's eyes, teasing the giant with his little tempting smile before kissing his lips again, yet so short and sloppy. He cups Chanyeol's cheeks softly, stealing more kisses for the umpteenth times, like it's never enough to taste each other's lips. Running his fingers through the taller's hair, playing them a little, folding the strays of his hair here and there, making them messier as he cackles in amusement.

"I love you too, Yeol. Let's stay together for a really long time."

He said, he promised.

Chanyeol nods.

They promised.

They just don't know yet, that sometimes, promises are meant to be broken.


	2. Spring, 2014

_I’m right here_  
_But can’t you see me?_

_Wendy - Goodbye_

 

* * *

 

_Spring, 2014_

 

EIght o'clock and Chanyeol just woke up with the smell of flowers, sunlight between the curtain, and an empty spot beside him. At the edge of their bed, Baekhyun wraps himself tight with the white sheet around his naked body, throwing his gaze away to the veranda. 

"Baek, what are you doing?"

Baekhyun looks over in surprise, instantly feigning a sweet smile while staring into his lover's eyes between the silence. There's something different in his stare. Something that has stayed for quite some time in his mind, but he's still very doubtful to share it with the giant--whatever it is.

Throwing away the blanket, Baekhyun crawls back to Chanyeol's side, laying his head down on the taller's bare chest, fondling Chanyeol's cheeks so delicate like he's a fragile glass. His breaths sound so serene, as if nothing actually disturbs him.

Trailing his fingers down on the smaller's naked thigh, Chanyeol asks him quietly. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

It takes Baekhyun a whole minute to settle his gaze back to the taller's, to finally find a courage to staring back at him. As Chanyeol looks closer into his eyes, somehow, he recognizes that look; the kind of ones which are guilty and far away. Strangely, Baekhyun keeps giving him that look a lot these days, as if he is drowning deeply in his own emotions, and there are too many excuses to talk it with the lover.

"Nothing, it's just..." Baekhyun takes more minutes to slip by, trying to find the right words under this stuffiness between them. "It's just...I feel like something is missing between us." He says, finally.

Chanyeol still cradles the brunette's thigh in his hold, trying to find any words to response, though his confession itself has turned his mind into a sudden mess. He knows they've been pretending to be okay these past few days, but still, as Baekhyun finally talks about it, Chanyeol can never be ready. "And what's this something?"

"I don't know." The smaller bites his lips, making his composure clouded more with hesitation. He traces his fingers down to Chanyeol's lips before letting out a deep sigh. "We've been together for so long, right, like it's been five years, Yeol."

"Uh huh, and then?"

"I don't know, it feels like there's no more sparks between us."

Sparks, he said. What kind of sparks that he actually needs? Something assuring that he still loves him despite these five years? Because well, Chanyeol still does. He doesn't know what Baekhyun's excusing for, but at least, Chanyeol knows that he doesn't need to babble a thousand paragraphs about sparks or whatever it is, just to make sure that he still loves Baekhyun regardless. 

Their relationship probably have changed in any words they can't explain, but Chanyeol knows exactly, he still loves Baekhyun the most.

Yet, perhaps, Baekhyun doesn't. 

It's been too obvious, anyways. They've been drifting apart days by days without even their realization. 

Ah, maybe not them, but him. Baekhyun. 

Chanyeol keeps trying to hold Baekhyun's hand tighter, but the latter seems fading away even further. He tries every ways to hold him stay, but as season changes, as summer and autumn passes, as winter flees in a slow spin, Chanyeol keeps getting a glimpse of someone else in his lover's insincere smiles. Baekhyun keeps changing to someone that he hardly recognizes. 

They keep fighting over the smallest things. And they even barely laugh as the fights keep consuming them days by days into a tense state. It's just getting tiring unavoidably.

"And what do you want me to do?" Chanyeol holds his breaths--somewhere in this line of losing his _everything_ , Chanyeol still believes that they can get through this together. 

Baekhyun nuzzles his head on the giant's neck, burying his face deep, hiding from this abundant stillness that feels too intimidating. The room somehow sounds so crowded with their restrained screaming, wondering countless questions that both of them can't even ask. There are so many words to explain, maybe sitting face to face, talking about break up will most likely do. But no one takes the initiative, yet.

An interval has passed and only then Chanyeol realizes, Baekhyun has sobbed silently. He can feel his shaky shoulders against his chest, looking for a shelter that Baekhyun always finds in him. Chanyeol tries to secure him safe, providing a home to his storm, being a place that Baekhyun always returns to. 

But, no matter how close they are right now, Chanyeol feels like Baekhyun slowly disappears.  

"I don't want to lose you." Between his tears, Bakhyun grabs the taller's neck so tight, like he means every words he just said. He keeps kissing the giant's neck, like he is so scared that he has forgotten how the lover's skin tastes. Somehow, it makes Chanyeol's heart aches a lot. The way Baekhyun's trying to look for every littlest piece of reasons why he should hold on.

"You won't, babe." Chanyeol whispers. His chest feels so heavy but he can't cry, as if he's drowning slowly in a bottomless ocean and no one's actually trying to save him. It's hurting inside, seeing his lover this broken and nothing actually he can do.

"We'll be alright in the next spring, Baek. Trust me we'll cuddle again, and everything will be alright."

His chuckle's back.

And suddenly, everything just feels so much better.

Perhaps, Baekhyun is like an air for him. Probably, Chanyeol just loves him a little too much, way deeper than he actually thought.

"Yeol, you know that I love you, right?"

There's only half of sincerity in his words, but Chanyeol doesn't give a damn. As long as there's still love between them, he'll keep holding on, because, for him, it's more that enough. As long as Baekhyun still stays, everything will be alright. _He_ will be fine. 

"I love you more, Byun Baekhyun."

And he means it, with a whole of his heart.


	3. Spring, 2015

_No wait, so_  
_We can’t see each other anymore?_  
_We used to be the closest in the world_

_Heize - So, It Ends?_

 

* * *

 

 

_Spring, 2015_

 

"Let's break up."

It should be the prettiest day.

After a while, the cherry blossom finally bloom perfectly, blanketing delicate coral all over the road, blowing the scent of flowers as everyone passes. The breeze is not very cold, but warm enough to make some lovers holding hands along the streets. As pretty as the day, the sky looks really bright too, adorning sapphire in its endless ocean.

It should've been a perfect day for them too.

They had a date after a while. Walking along the highways, visiting small stores, eating ice cream, holding hands, talking a lot--making up with the time that they spent apart. Chanyeol's been busy with works as this year he starts taking over his father's company, while Baekhyun has to focus on his thesis for his master degree program--but somehow, they were able to hold on.

Chanyeol thought.

Until Baekhyun said that.

No wonder, Baekhyun asked to walk him home, instead of their apartment. Or, should he say his _own_ apartment, now?

Oh damn, it hurts.

"Do we really have to?" Reaching out Baekhyun's hand, Chanyeol ignores his raspy voice to make it less obvious that he's way too hurt by the lover's decision. His stomach keeps flipping apart, making him so queasy as the evening's getting terribly darker and just...suffocating. He barely breaths as the air keeps stuck in his throat, leaving him breathless with all these uneven beatings. 

Two steps across him, Baekhyun keeps avoiding the giant's eyes, setting his gaze forth and back behind the taller, biting his lips so hard as they start shaking in an obvious way.

_Don't cry, sweetheart._

"I really don't want to lose you, God." Baekhyun whispers, weak. The way he holds Chanyeol's hand, really gives the latter a ting of hope that all of this is just a dream. But those eyes. Those give-in eyes, may offer a whole different explanation.

Inhaling a deep breath, Chanyeol cups the lover's face softly, asking him quietly to look into his eyes. Perhaps, in this so close distance, Baekhyun can see him the way he did when they first met. Maybe, Chanyeol still can find his shadow in the circle of the smaller's eyes, like he's still the only one Baekhyun can see. "I'll be better, okay? I will try harder for you. We can get through this together, Baek. Please."

"No, we can't, Yeol." The tears are brimming in his eyes and he can't hold back his sobbing anymore. Baekhyun looks so hurt.

_Please. Don't cry, Baek._

"Why can't we? I'll just--"

"It's not about you, Yeol. It's not about you." Shaking his head helplessly, the guilt gushes all over his eyes. "It's about me, okay? People change. And...me too. I can't help it either. I try so hard to love you the same, but I can't. I don't want to lose you, but...but, the thought of staying together with you while I can't give the same amount of love to you like what you give to me scares me a lot. I feel like...I don't deserve you. Your love for me feels more like a burden now. And I don't want to love you that way, Yeol."

Baekhyun is a mess now. The tears keep flowing on his cheeks, his shoulders tremble uncontrollably, just like his hold on Chanyeol's arm. "I know, it's unfair for you. I hate myself too for this. But, I can't be selfish. You deserve better, please." Every words he just said, sound so shaky, but Chanyeol knows, that's the truth. His love for him is dying.

_Please don't cry, Baek. It hurts me more. Please._

"Even if I said, I'll be fine with all of that, it won't change your decision, right?" A tear slip by through Chanyeol's eyes, aching his chest even more. _Damn, damn, damn_. This is too hard.

"Yeol...please."

It's raining. At least, Chanyeol can hide his tears now. He can cry so hard and Baekhyun won't have any ideas how their breakup really wrecks his heart, leaving him no pieces left to stand on his own now. For six years, Baekhyun takes every part of him, and now he's gone.

"Please." He begs again. "Let me go, Yeol."

 _Can't you just stay? Please._ _It'll be too hard for me if you leave, sweetheart._

"Just let me go."

A minute which feels like an hour passed, and only then, Chanyeol nods. Baekhyun may be true. What's there to hold on if there's nothing to hold on?

It may be true, letting go of Baekhyun's hand may give Chanyeol the greatest heartbreak, but forcing him to stay, while he looks this broken, it surely hurts him even more. Whether with him or not, Chanyeol just wants Baekhyun to be happy.

Between the falling raindrops, Baekhyun tiptoes his feet, pressing a mushy kiss on Chanyeol's lips. Long and soft. Sweet as flowers. Unforgettable like the springs. He rests his head on the giant's shoulder, grabbing his jacket to hug him so tight, in a way, _as if_ , he does not want to let him go. As if.

"I'm sorry for breaking our promise." He said.

"I love you, Baek." Chanyeol kisses the smaller's forehead, probably for the last time. "You should know, I always love you, Baek. I always do, whatever happens. Even now, in the past, or for another days that have yet to come.

"Please, don't say that, Giant. You should forget me, okay."

 


End file.
